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Naaye Khwaab

Absar Fatima

اب مارل بولے گا قسط 4

اب مارل بولے گا قسط 4 تحریر ابصار فاطمہ مارل شاہی بازار کی آخری دکان کی اوٹ سے بچوں کے جھنڈ کو گزرتے دیکھ رہا تھا۔ اس میں اکثر بچے اسی کی عمر کے تھے۔ یہ بھی سارے بچے غریب ہاریوں کے تھے نہ تن پہ مکمل کپڑے نہ پیر میں چپل۔ مگر وہ خوش تھے۔ ان کے قہقہوں میں کھنک تھی۔ مارل کو نہیں یاد وہ کب دل سے ہنسا تھا۔ وہ ہنستا بھی تھا تو آنکھیں بھیگ جاتی تھیں۔ اس کے تن پہ بھی ویسا ہی سادہ لباس تھا۔ مگر اس کی تقدیر ان کی تقدیر سے بہت مختلف تھی۔ اتنی مختلف کہ چہرے کے نقوش کے ساتھ کھدی تھی۔ اسی ٹولے میں سے کسی کی نظر اس پہ پڑی اس نے وہیں سے آواز لگائی اوو کارا۔۔۔۔ اووو کارا۔۔ مارل فوراً دیوار کی اوٹ میں چھپ گیا۔ اس کی گہری سیاہ آنکھوں سے گھبراہٹ عیاں تھی۔ سخت، گھونگھریالے بالوں سے پسینے کے قطرے بہتے ہوئے چہرے تک آگئے تھے۔ قہقے قریب آرہے تھے کچھ دیر پہلے کے بے فکر قہقہوں میں کھنک کہ جگہ اب حقارت کی سختی عود آئی تھی۔ —– —— —— —— سب کچھ بہت جلد نمٹ گیا۔ یا شاید خود بخود کیا نمٹتا اسی نے جیسے بس کر گزرنے کی ٹھان لی تھی۔ کسی اگر مگر کو دماغ میں نہیں آنے دیا تمام خدشوں کو اپنے لاشعور میں کہیں دفن کردیا۔ اور ایک ماہ کے اندر اندر وہ فرزانہ نور علی بن گئی تھی۔ رخصت ہوکر وہ اسی شہر کے ایک فلیٹ میں گئی جو نور علی نے رشتہ طے ہوجانے کے بعد کرائے پہ لیا تھا۔ لیکن ایک بات جو اس کے اور نور علی کے علاوہ کسی کو معلوم نہیں تھی وہ یہ کہ یہ گھر صرف نور علی کے نام سے کرائے پہ نہیں لیا گیا تھا اس کا کرایہ اور گھر میں آنے والے سامان کا خرچ دونوں کا آدھا آدھا تھا۔ کرایہ نامہ دونوں کے نام بنا تھا کوئی کسی دوسرے کو یہ کہہ کر گھر سے نہیں نکال سکتا تھا کہ یہ میرا گھر ہے۔ کئی اور بہت سی چھوٹی بڑی شرائط تھیں جو ان دونوں کے درمیان بہت پہلے سے طے تھیں لیکن نکاح نامے میں درج نہیں تھیں کیوں کہ اگر یہ مسئلہ دونوں خاندانوں کے بیچ رکھا جاتا تو نہ ختم ہونے والی بحث شروع ہوجاتی جو کم از کم فرزانہ فی الحال بالکل نہیں چاہتی تھی۔ اسے پتا تھا یہ ان دونوں کے درمیان کا معاملہ ہے جسے وہ دونوں ہی آپس میں نمٹائیں تو بہتر ہے۔ اس کے باوجود یہ کمزور سا نکاح نامہ جس پہ اس کے تحفظ کے لیے ایک بھی شرط موجود نہیں تھی مسلسل اسے عجیب سی کیفیت میں مبتلا کر رہا تھا۔ اس نے کئی بار خود کو یقین دلایا کہ مسئلہ نکاح نامے میں نہیں ہے بس وہ پچھلے تجربے سے ڈری ہوئی ہے۔ نور علی کے تقریباً تمام ہی رشتے دار شہر آئے ہوئے تھے۔ ساری خواتین تو اسی فلیٹ میں تھیں اور مردوں کے لیے اسی عمارت کی ایک اور منزل پہ انتظام کیا ہوا تھا۔ ان مہمانوں میں نور علی کی بیٹی مومل بھی شامل تھی جو زیادہ تر اپنی دونوں پھپھیوں میں سے کسی کے پاس نظر آتی تھی۔ یا جیسے ہی اسے نور علی، فرزانہ سے دور نظر آتا تو اس کے پاس لگ کے بیٹھ جاتی تھی۔ یہ دیکھ کر اس کا دل شرمندگی اور دکھ کے احساس سے بوجھل سا ہوجاتا تھا لیکن اس کے باوجود اس نے کوئی ردعمل دینے سے احتراز کیا۔وہ پہلے نواز علی کے گھر کے ماحول کو سمجھنا چاہتی تھی۔ جو فی الحال اسے ناممکن سا لگ رہا تھا۔ اسے کسی حد تک سندھی سمجھ آجاتی تھی لیکن دیہاتی لہجے میں بلند آواز سے بیک وقت بولتی تمام خواتین کی ایک بات بھی سمجھ نہ آپاتی، کچھ وہ بھی اسے دیکھتے ہی کھسیانے سے انداز میں خاموش ہوجاتی تھیں۔ ہاں ایک لفظ جو تواتر سے اس کے کان میں پڑ رہا تھا وہ تھا “دھاری” اور لاشعوری طور پہ اسے لگا کہ یہ لفظ اس کے لیے ہی استعمال ہورہا ہے۔ اس نے یہ تمام اہم غیر اہم لیکن دماغ میں چبھتی رہنے والی باتیں جمع کرکے رکھ لیں تھیں تاکہ کچھ وقت گزرنے کے بعد نور علی سے ان پہ بات کرسکے۔ ولیمے کے دو دن کے اندر اندر اکثر رشتے دار واپس چلے گئے۔ مومل بھی اپنی پھپھیوں کے ساتھ ہی گاؤں چلی گئی اب یہاں فرزانہ کے ساتھ صرف نور علی کی والدہ اور تائی رہ گئیں۔ نور علی کی والدہ چھریرے سے بھی کچھ دبلے جسم کی حامل متحرک سی خاتون تھیں جنہیں فرزانہ نے اتنے دن کچھ نہ کچھ کرتے ہی پایا۔ جب کہ تائی ذرا بھاری جسم کی خاتون تھیں جو اکثر ایک ہی جگہ بیٹھی رہتی تھیں لیکن جہاں وہ بیٹھتی تھیں ساری خواتین بھی اسی جگہ ان کے گرد بیٹھ جاتی تھیں۔ فرزانہ نے غور کیا تھا کہ اکثر گفتگو کی پتوار انہی خاتون کے ہاتھ میں رہتی تھی اور وہ اپنی مرضی سے گفتگو کا رخ موڑتی رہتیں تھیں۔ ان کا باقی سب کے جانے کے بعد بھی رکنا فرزانہ کے اعصاب کو کسی حد تک کشیدہ کر رہا تھا۔ اسے اندازہ تھا کہ وہ اس قسم کی خاتون ہیں جن کی ہر چیز پہ نہ صرف گہری نظر ہوتی ہے بلکہ ایک غیر متزلزل قسم کی رائے بھی ہوتی ہے۔ نور علی نے بتایا تھا کہ وہ اس کے تایا کی پہلی بیوی تھیں خاندان کی سب سے بڑی بہو۔ پھر تقریباً آٹھ سال اولاد کا انتظار کرنے کے بعد تایا کی دوسری شادی کروا دی گئی لیکن بڑی تائی کو باقاعدہ گھر کی خواتین کا سربراہ بنادیا گیا تاکہ انہیں یہ محسوس نہ ہو کہ ان کی اہمیت کم ہوگئی ہے۔ یہ بات نور علی نے بہت فخر سے بتائی تھی اور فرزانہ خود بھی کسی حد تک گاؤں کے اس چلن سے متاثر ہوئی تھی۔ اسی لیے وہ ان کے رکنے پہ گھبراہٹ کا شکار تھی ان کی اس کے لیے بنی رائے ہمیشہ کے لیے پورے خاندان میں اس کی حیثیت کا تعین کردیتی۔ وہ مسلسل خود کو دل ہی

Meher Ali

Balancing “Duty” and “Desire”

Balancing “Duty” and “Desire” Freud’s groundbreaking work Civilization and Its Discontents deals with the themes of civilization and the primitive side of an individual. Freud defines both these terms through his psychoanalytic theory. On one hand, we have civilization, which he defines as: “The whole sum of the achievements and regulations which distinguish our lives from those of our animal ancestors…” On the other hand, we have our primitive side, our instinctual desires. There is always a state of conflict between the standards of civilization and the demands of our primitive side. Most of the book focuses on how an individual is affected when they are not allowed to fulfill the desires of the unconscious mind. When an individual is forbidden from acting upon their instinctual urges, anxiety grows within them, giving birth to suffering. However, when one manages to achieve the goal of seeking pleasure or satisfying unconscious desires, they attain happiness. According to Freud, “The liberty of the individual is no gift of civilization.” Whenever an individual does not get what they want, they become conscious of their individuality and begin to differentiate themselves from the external world. Freud gives the example of an infant, who, according to him, possesses only primitive or unconscious desires and has no trace of ego. An infant has no awareness of the external world, when hungry, it yearns for milk, and when the desire is not immediately fulfilled, it begins to create a line of demarcation between the external world and the self, leading to the development of the ego. The last chapter of the book is dedicated to the concept of guilt and how it arises. In civilization, every individual must follow certain rules and regulations, as this is how society functions. If everyone started breaking those standards, civilization would no longer remain a civilization. When an individual fails to adhere to these standards, they feel useless, and their conscious mind develops a sense of guilt. As individuals, we must maintain a healthy balance between the standards of civilization and our instinctual desires in order to escape anxiety and guilt. We should fulfill our responsibilities, which are the gifts of civilization, because, according to Aristotle, “Only a beast or a god can live without society.” Yet, while fulfilling these responsibilities, we must not surrender our liberty, for without it, we cannot live happily. A healthy individual is one who masters the art of balancing these two demands. He who fails to do so will suffer, either from anxiety or from guilt Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Logged in as admin. Edit your profile. Log out? Required fields are marked * Message*

Khushal das Parmar

The Problem of Plenty and Search for Mental Peace

The Problem of Plenty and Search for Mental Peace We live in an age where everything feels abundant, with endless information, choices, opportunities, gadgets, entertainment, and possessions. From the outside, it looks like the perfect recipe for happiness. Our ancestors struggled for survival, while we can have groceries delivered, access libraries from a phone, and connect instantly with people across the world. Yet, amid all this abundance, a strange restlessness grips modern life. The problem of plenty is not about scarcity of resources but it is about an overload of them. When everything is available, the mind becomes overwhelmed. Psychologists call this decision fatigue. The more choices we face, the more anxious and dissatisfied we become. Think about it. How many times have you scrolled endlessly through Netflix and then turned it off, unable to decide what to watch? Or spent hours comparing products online, only to end up unsure about what you really need? Abundance, ironically, breeds confusion. The same applies to success and wealth. The more we earn, the higher our expectations climb. Comfort quickly turns into necessity. Instead of satisfaction, we begin to feel pressure to maintain, to upgrade, to outdo. We chase the next milestone, hoping peace will arrive with it, but it rarely does. Peace of mind is no longer a natural state; it has become something we pursue through yoga classes, meditation apps, or digital detox weekends. Yet peace was once the default condition of a simple life. In the Japanese philosophy of Ikigai, the people of Okinawa are known to live long and content lives not because they have much, but because they find joy in having enough. As Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles write in Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, “The happiest people are not the ones who achieve the most. They are the ones who spend more time than others in a state of flow.” True peace does not come from reducing our possessions alone, but from reducing our attachment to them. It begins when we stop measuring our worth by what we own or achieve and start valuing what we feel and experience. A cluttered home can be cleared in a weekend, but a cluttered mind takes patience, discipline, and self-awareness. Peace begins when we make space not just in our schedules, but in our hearts and thoughts. As the Dalai Lama reminds us, “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” When abundance aligns with awareness, plenty can transform from a problem into a blessing. Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden, “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.” Nowdays, everyone seems to be chasing something fame, trends, or the lifestyle of those already in the spotlight. Social media has turned comparison into a daily habit, and many people try to copy what celebrities do, believing that success or recognition will bring peace. Yet, those who seem to “have it all” often speak about the emptiness behind excess. Actor Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” His words echo a deep truth that the material success can fill our homes but not our hearts. Similarly, Keanu Reeves, known for his humility despite fame, shared, “Money doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ve made a lot of money, but I want to enjoy life and not stress about building my bank account.” Even spiritual voices remind us of the same wisdom. Oprah Winfrey, reflecting on her journey, said, “The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” Yet, she also emphasizes that real joy comes from gratitude and balance, not from constant striving. Their words remind us that peace is not found in being seen, followed, admired or having plenty but it is found in being content with who we are when the noise fades and the lights dim. When I reflect on my own journey, this truth feels deeply personal. I was born in the desert Tharparkar in southern Pakistan, one of the most remote and economically challenged areas of the country. My father was a labourer who worked tirelessly so that we could dream bigger than our surroundings allowed. I grew up without resources, without connections, and often without certainty about the future. Getting admission to a university for my bachelor’s degree was itself a battle; financially, socially, and emotionally. Yet every step forward became a new beginning like earning scholarships, completing my higher education, traveling across countries, and now pursuing a PhD in Italy. Each milestone felt like a mountain climbed against all odds. And yet, when I look back today, I realize that the path though filled with success stories is not the same as peace of mind. Achievement brought satisfaction, yes, but not always serenity. I learned that peace isn’t found in the applause of others or in the degrees and scholarships we collect. It lives quietly in moments of gratitude. When I remember my father’s tired hands, the sand dunes of my childhood, and the small library I once dreamed of building for other kids like me. Though I have come a long way from Tharparkar, my deepest journey continues inward, in search of peace, modesty, and meaning. Like Ikigai teaches, purpose is not something we chase. It is something we live every day, through our work, our compassion, and our balance. Peace of mind isn’t something far away; it lives quietly within us, waiting for care. In a world of endless choices and possessions, the goal isn’t to have more but to wisely and prioritize what truly matters. That’s the true lesson behind The Problem of Plenty and the Search for Peace of Mind. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Logged in as admin. Edit your

Absar Fatima

اب مارل بولے گا(قسط 3)

اب مارل بولے گا(قسط 3) مارل بہت کچھ دیکھ رہا تھا۔ کچھ اسے سمجھ آتا تھا اور بہت کچھ وہ سمجھے بغیر دیکھ بھی رہا تھا اور جھیل بھی رہا تھا۔ وہ بارہ دری میں کھڑا پہاڑی سے نیچے گزرتے سندھو دریا کو دیکھ رہا تھا۔ سورج ڈھل رہا تھا اور کچھ میر بحر اپنی آبی اشیانوں کو کھیتے بہاؤ کی مخالف سمت جارہے تھے ان میں سے ہی ایک ملاح سر سامونڈری میں شاہ لطیف کا کلام اونچی آواز میں گاتا جارہا ہے۔ کچھ ہی دیر پہلے یہاں محفل سجی ہوئی تھی۔ وہاں بھی شاہی راگی شاہ سائیں کا کلام سر سامونڈری ہی گا چکے تھے۔ مگر ملاح کی آواز میں ایک استحقاق تھا۔ جیسے اسے بات کا فخر ہو کہ سُر اس کے لیے ہی تخلیق کیا گیا ہے۔ فضا میں ملاح کے گیت اور چپوؤں کی پانی میں غوطے لگانے کی آوازیں مدھر آہنگ کے ساتھ بتدریج بڑھتے بڑھتے معدوم ہونے لگیں۔ مارل کی نظریں بہت دور تک کشتیوں کا تعاقب کرتی رہیں اور پھر کناروں پہ آکر ٹک گئیں جہاں سندھو چھلکنے کو بےتاب لگ رہا تھا۔ اس نے سنا تھا سندھو کی موجیں ہر کچھ سال بعد قربانی مانگتی ہیں تبھی اس کی روانی رہتی ہے۔ اسے نہیں پتا تھا کہ اس کے اندر کا سندھو اگر چھلکا تو کتنی قربانیاں لے گا۔ مگر اسے یہ اندازہ تھا کہ اس کی قربانی یقینی ہے۔ ————— گھر پہ وقتاً فوقتاً شروع ہو جانے والی بحثوں کا اثر یہ ہوا کہ اب تقریباً روز ہی اس کی اور نور علی کی بات چیت تلخ کلامی پہ ختم ہونے لگی تھی۔ وہ چاہتی تھی کہ وہ گاؤں کی زندگی کے بارے میں زیادہ سے زیادہ جان سکے اور نور علی کو لگتا تھا کہ وہ گاؤں میں چلتے مسائل پہ اسے قصور وار ٹہرا رہی ہے۔ وہ بے دھیانی میں اپنی میز پہ بیٹھی بال پوائنٹ کی نب کبھی کھولتی تھی کبھی بند کرتی تھی۔ جنوری کی سرد خاموش دوپہر میں پین کھلنے بند ہونے کا شور پورے کمرے میں گونج رہا تھا لیکن اس کے دماغ میں مچلتے شور کے درمیان یہ آوازیں شاید بالکل ہی غیر اہم تھیں کہ وہ انہیں خود تک رسائی کا موقع ہی نہیں دے رہا تھا۔وہ پچھلے دو ماہ سے اتنے شدید ذہنی دباؤ میں آگئی تھی کہ کبھی کبھی نہ چاہتے ہوئے بھی اس لمحے کو کوستی جب نور علی نے جذبات کو الفاظ دئیے تھے۔ انہی الفاظ کو جن کی منتظر وہ مہینوں سے تھی۔“فئیری۔۔۔۔۔ فئیری۔۔۔۔۔” شمائلہ کی آواز پہ اسے احساس ہوا کہ وہ اکیلی نہیں ہے۔ اس نے پین میز پہ رکھ دیا۔ کیوں کہ شمائلہ کی نظریں اس کے پین پہ ہی تھیں۔ وہ شاید کام کرتے ہوئے توجہ نہیں رکھ پارہی تھی۔“تم کب واپس آئیں؟” اسے تھوڑی حیرت ہوئی کہ اسے شمائلہ کے آنے پہ پتا کیوں نہیں چلا۔“کہاں سے واپس؟” “لنچ سے یار.” “محترمہ میں گئی کب تھی کھانے کے لیے؟” فرزانہ نے لاعلمی والے انداز میں کندھے اچکائے۔“آپ کو اپنے مجنوں سے فرصت ملے تو احساس ہو کہ باقی دنیا میں کیا چل رہا ہے۔” شمائلہ کے لہجے میں دوستانہ شرارت تھی۔ وہ ابھی تک اپنی سوچوں کے اثر میں تھی کہ مسکرا بھی نہیں سکی۔ “خیریت ہے؟ نور علی سے کوئی جھگڑا ہوا کیا؟” ” نہیں جھگڑا تو نہیں کہہ سکتے، اور اس کی وجہ سے میں پریشان ہوں بھی نہیں۔ یہ بحثیں ایک طرح سے ہمارے تعلق کا حصہ ہیں۔” “یہ وہ والا فلسفہ ہے کہ لڑائی سے محبت بڑھتی ہے۔؟” شمائلہ نے خفیف سا قہقہہ لگایا۔“نہیں اس مطلب میں نہیں۔ میرا مطلب ہے کہ ہم ہر موضوع پہ بات کر سکتے ہیں۔ اگر بحث میں ایک دوسرے سے متفق نہ بھی ہوں تو ایک دوسرے کے جذبات کے حوالے سے شک میں نہیں پڑتے۔” “یہ تو اچھی بات ہے۔ بیٹا ایسے میاں قسمت والیوں کو ملتے ہیں جن سے بات کی جاسکے۔ تمہیں تو میاں کی آفر میں دوست مفت مل رہا ہے۔” شمائلہ کے لہجے میں پرخلوص ستائش تھی۔ ان دونوں کو اس سرکاری ادارے میں ساتھ کام کرتے ہوئے تیسرا سال تھا۔ فرزانہ کی نوکری کو سات سال ہونے والے تھے شمائلہ اس سے نسبتاً سینئیر تھی۔ وہ چالیس سالہ، شادی شدہ عورت تھی۔ اس کی شخصیت میں واضح محسوس ہونے والا گھریلو سا احساس تھا۔ جو اکثر یہاں کے سرکاری اداروں خاص طور سے تعلیم سے متعلق محکموں میں موجود اکثر خواتین میں محسوس ہوتا ہے کہ اگر آپ ان سے ان کے آفس سے باہر کہیں ملیں تو کبھی نہ جان سکیں کہ یہ “ورکنگ ویمن” ہیں۔ بلکہ شاید وہ نوکری والی ہوتی بھی اسی لیے ہیں کیوں کہ نوکری سرکاری ہے۔ شمائلہ نے فرزانہ کو اپنی شادی کی جو تصاویر دکھائی تھیں ان سے احساس ہوتا تھا کہ وہ اس وقت ایک خوش شکل، خوش پوش لڑکی رہی تھی۔ لیکن اب شادی کے تقریباً تیرہ سال کے بعد اس کے چہرے پہ مستقل تھکن کے احساس نے نقوش میں اپنی جگہ بنا لی تھی۔ جسے وہ صبح صبح سفید فیس پاوڈر اور کاسنی لپ اسٹک سے کسی قدر مدھم کرنے میں کامیاب ہوجاتی تھی لیکن چھٹی کا وقت آنے تک مٹا مٹا سا میک اپ اسے مزید تھکن زدہ بنا دیتا تھا۔ اس وقت بھی اس کی لپ اسٹک قدرے مٹ چکی تھی اور بولتے ہوئے ہونٹوں کا اصل رنگ اندرونی گوشوں سے جھلک رہا تھا۔نور علی اور فرزانہ کا رومان شمائلہ کے سامنے ہی اپنے رنگ بدلتا یہاں تک پہنچا تھا۔ فرزانہ بہت غور سے شمائلہ کو بولتے دیکھ رہی تھی لیکن اس کا دماغ اپنے مسئلے میں ہی الجھا ہوا تھا۔ اسے مناسب لگا کہ وہ اس حوالے سے شمائلہ سے مشورہ کرلے۔ “تم بتاؤ! تمہارے خیال میں ہمارے گھریلو ماحول اور زبان کا فرق ہمارے آپس کے تعلق پہ بھی اثر کر سکتا ہے؟” فرزانہ کا لہجہ بتا رہا تھا کہ وہ چاہتی ہے شمائلہ اسے سب اچھا ہونے کا کہہ دے۔ “ہاں کر تو سکتا ہے، بلکہ اکثر گھروں میں کرتا ہے۔ تمہارے والدین شاید اسی لیے پریشان ہیں کیوں کہ ایسی شادیاں اکثر جھگڑوں کی نظر ہی ہوجاتی ہیں۔ دونوں فریقین تعلق کو اپنی روایات کے مطابق چلانا چاہتے

Dr. Mahan Aslam
Dr. Mahan Aslam

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Beyond Infertility

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Beyond Infertility Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common hormonal conditions affecting women today, impacting around 6–13% of women of reproductive age. PCOS begins when the body’s hormones fall out of balance. Normally, the ovaries release one egg each month. In PCOS, this process doesn’t work smoothly because: 1. Hormonal Imbalance The ovaries produce higher than normal levels of androgens (male hormones). These androgens disturb the release of eggs (ovulation). 2. Insulin Resistance Many women with PCOS have cells that don’t respond well to insulin, the hormone that controls blood sugar. The body then produces more insulin. High insulin levels further increase androgen production, making symptoms worse. 3. Ovarian Effect Because ovulation is irregular, the ovaries may develop many small fluid-filled sacs (follicles). These are not harmful, but they indicate that the eggs are not being released properly. When hormones go out of balance in PCOS, periods may become irregular or stop for months. Many women also struggle with excessive hair growth, acne, and weight gain. These symptoms are often the first signs of the condition. Beyond this, PCOS can create long-term health problems. Infertility is common because irregular ovulation makes it hard to conceive. Insulin resistance raises the risk of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease, showing that PCOS is far more than just a reproductive issue. Irregular cycles also increase the risk of endometrial cancer, while weight gain and sleep problems such as sleep apnea can make things worse over time. When we talk about PCOS, the conversation is usually limited to infertility or visible symptoms like excessive hair and changes in appearance. That’s because women are often told to see themselves through these lenses, where their value is tied to fertility or looks. But as PCOS becomes more common, the discussion also needs to expand. We should be talking about its impact on mental health, the anxiety, low self-esteem, and emotional struggles that come with it, not just the physical signs. In health systems too, the focus usually remains on changes in appearance or medical complications such as infertility, heart disease, or the increased risk of type 2 diabetes. While these are important, the psychological side is almost never addressed. The anxiety, depression, and emotional struggles women face because of PCOS are treated as invisible, even though they affect quality of life just as much as the physical complications. Most of the time, when PCOS is discussed, the focus stays on infertility and the complications mentioned above. Yet a very serious and much-needed conversation is missing, the mental health problems it brings. We already live in a society where mental health is stigmatized, and when you add a condition like PCOS, women are pushed into a space that feels invisible. It is like being asked to stand on the “third side of a coin,” a side that technically does not exist. That is exactly how women’s mental health in the context of PCOS is treated, as if it doesn’t exist at all. The psychological stress in PCOS comes from two sides. On one hand, the visible symptoms, like excessive hair, acne, weight gain, or infertility, become even harder to cope with because of societal standards and expectations placed on women’s bodies and roles. On the other hand, there is the emotional dysregulation that comes directly from the hormonal imbalance itself, which can cause mood swings, anxiety, and depression. These two stresses, though different in origin, often overlap and make the emotional burden of PCOS much heavier, yet this distinction is rarely acknowledged. What we need, therefore, is a broader and more honest conversation around PCOS. Health systems should not only focus on fertility treatments or managing long-term complications like diabetes and heart disease but also integrate mental health support into care. Counseling, peer support groups, and open dialogue about body image and self-worth should be part of treatment plans. We also need social conversations that challenge the stigma surrounding both mental health and women’s reproductive health. Women with PCOS should not feel reduced to their ability to conceive or how they look. Instead, the focus should be on their overall well-being, physical, emotional, and social. And on a personal level, the next time you meet a woman diagnosed with PCOS or notice symptoms like weight gain or excessive hair, pause before asking about her “disease” or fertility. Instead, ask her how she’s doing, or simply offer space to talk. These small shifts in how we respond can make a huge difference. Let’s spread awareness of PCOS beyond infertility, break the silence around its mental health impact, and create a culture where women can talk openly and be supported without judgment.

Khushal das Parmar

Youth, AI, and Social Media: Shaping Mental Health for the Next Generation

Youth, AI, and Social Media: Shaping Mental Health for the Next Generation In today’s world, our youth are growing up in a digital ecosystem shaped not just by smartphones and social media, but also by artificial intelligence (AI) working silently in the background. Every video recommendation, every trending hashtag, and even the posts that appear on a feed are influenced by sophisticated AI algorithms. While these tools make platforms more engaging, personalized, and entertaining, they also carry hidden costs for the mental health of young people. The very systems designed to connect us can sometimes leave youth feeling more disconnected, anxious, and pressured than ever before.Most teenagers and young adults scroll through their feeds without realizing that AI is carefully deciding what they see next. These systems are designed to maximize attention, often by amplifying emotionally charged, sensational, or addictive content. While this strategy keeps users online longer, it also increases exposure to toxic comparisons, cyberbullying, and unrealistic lifestyle portrayals. Over time, this constant overload can fuel feelings of anxiety, stress, and depression. As Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella wisely notes: “Technology is not good or bad in itself. It’s all about how we use it.” His words remind us that AI itself is not the enemy, its impact depends on the intention, awareness, and balance of its users. Echoing this, Tristan Harris, co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, has warned: “Never before in history have 50 designers, 20-to-35-year-old white guys in California, made decisions that would have an impact on two billion people.” This sobering truth highlights just how much influence a handful of AI-driven design choices can have on shaping the mental well-being of entire generations.With the rise of AI-powered filters, editing tools, and image enhancers, young people now have the ability to create perfected versions of themselves online. This digital freedom can be creative and fun, but it also brings an enormous pressure to look flawless or live an idealized life. The constant pursuit of “likes” for a polished self-image can distort one’s perception of reality. The line between authenticity and curated identity blurs, leaving many youths struggling with self-worth, confidence, and acceptance of their true selves. The words of former U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama speak powerfully here: “Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, or not smart enough. You are more than enough.” These words resonate deeply for a generation that battles comparison every time they unlock their phones. The danger is that these digital masks can make young people forget the beauty of imperfection, the fact that flaws are part of being human. When identity becomes filtered and curated, authenticity suffers, and mental health is compromised. To resist this, youth must learn that their real selves hold far greater value than any AI-crafted illusion.Research studies are increasingly highlighting the link between excessive social media use and poor sleep patterns, feelings of loneliness, heightened anxiety, and reduced attention spans. For young minds that are still developing emotional resilience, these impacts are especially concerning. The dopamine rush triggered by likes, shares, and notifications can quickly become addictive, turning online validation into a necessity rather than a choice. And when that validation doesn’t come, frustration and stress set in. Author and researcher Brené Brown captures this tension perfectly: “Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.” Her words highlight the importance of prioritizing deep, authentic relationships over the illusion of endless online connections.Interestingly, the same technology that contributes to these challenges also carries the potential to support mental well-being. AI-driven apps, digital mental health assistants, and therapy chatbots can provide early intervention, track mood changes, and even detect signs of depression or anxiety from online behavior. Major platforms are also investing in AI-powered moderation to filter harmful content and curb online harassment. Yet, these developments raise important ethical concerns about privacy, data protection, and the limits of machine-driven care. As entrepreneur Elon Musk famously warned: “Artificial intelligence is likely to be the best or worst thing ever to happen to humanity. We must make it the best.” Applied thoughtfully, AI can indeed become an ally in creating safer, healthier digital spaces for the next generation. But its success depends on transparency, accountability, and human oversight, without these safeguards, even well-intended innovations risk causing more harm than healing.Parents, educators, and communities all have a crucial role to play in guiding youth through this digital maze. Awareness of how algorithms shape online behavior, encouragement of mindful digital habits, and the normalization of open conversations around mental health can collectively reduce negative impacts. Youth themselves can also adopt small but powerful practices such as:Setting clear boundaries for screen time.Following accounts that inspire positivity rather than toxic comparison.Taking breaks with intentional “digital detox” days.Nurturing real-world friendships and seeking validation beyond social media metrics.As Prince William rightly emphasizes: “Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Take care of it.” His advocacy is a timely reminder that care for the mind is as vital as care for the body, especially in a world where the digital realm often consumes so much of our attention. In fact, just as exercise and nutrition are essential for physical well-being, daily habits of mindfulness, rest, and balanced digital use are critical for mental strength. Ignoring mental health in the age of constant connectivity is like neglecting your heart while overworking your body, the long-term consequences can be devastating. Prince William’s call should not only inspire individuals but also push societies, schools, and tech companies to prioritize mental health as a collective responsibility.The relationship between youth, AI, and social media is undeniably complex. The challenges are real, but so is the potential for positive transformation. With awareness, education, and responsible innovation, society can create a future where technology empowers rather than diminishes mental well-being. For the next generation, the task is

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خوشگل از ثمین صداقت

خوشگل از ثمین صداقت ہم لڑکیوں کو شیشے سے پار کیوں نہیں دیکھنے دیتے؟ چاہے لوگ متفق نہ ہوں لیکن دنیا عورت کوخوبصورتی کے پیمانے سے ناپتی ہے۔ اس دنیا میں لاتعداد کلچر ہیں ہر کسی کی خوبصورتی کی تعریف چاہے مختللف ہو لیکن عورت کے لیے پیمانہ ایک ہی مختص ہے۔ پیدائش سے لے کر جوانی کے دہلیز پر قدم رکھنے سے لے کر دائمی سفر پر جانے تک ایک لفظ عورت کثرت سے سنتی ہے اور وہ ہے : خوبصورت، بدصورت!اگر آپ اس بات سے متفق نہیں تو سوچ کر بتائیں کہ اگر کسی عورت کی تعریف کرنی ہو تو آپ کیسے کرتے ہیں؟ ’آج آپ بہت پیاری لگ رہی ہیں، واؤ پریٹی، حسین، خوبصورت، یار آج کیا لگ رہی ہو، گورجیس‘ اس جیسی لاتعداد تعریفیں جو صرف ظاہری شخصیت کے متعلق ہوتی ہیں۔ کسی انسان نے عورت کو برا محسوس کروانا ہو تو وہ بےاختیار اس کی ظاہری شکل و صورت کے متعلق طنز کرتے ہیں، ’او ہو موٹی ہو گئی ہو، ویٹ گین کیا ہے، رنگ کو کیا ہو گیا ہے، ہاتھ، پاؤں چہرہ سب کے رنگ مختلف ہیں، کالی بیٹی پیدا ہو گئی، دانے کتنے نکل گئے ہیں چہرے پر، ڈبل چن۔۔‘ایک لمبی فہرست جنہیں سن کر عورت کے چہرے کا رنگ سیکنڈ میں تبدیل ہوتا ہے اور اپنے آپ سے ناپسندیدگی کا جغرافیہ بلند سے بلند تر ہوتا جاتا ہے۔ اگر مرد کی تعریف کرنی ہو تو ہماری زبان سے بغیر کسی اعتراض کے ’ہینڈسم‘ نکلتا ہے۔ اکسفورڈ ڈکشنری کے مطابق اسکے معنی ہے ’سوٹ ایبل، کلیور معنی چالاک‘ اس کے برعکس عورت کے لیے خوبصورت کا لفظ زبان زد عام ہے جسکا مطلب حسن و جمال، یا دماغ کو خوش کرنا ہے۔ مسائل ان الفاظ سے شروع ہوتے ہیں۔ عورت زندگی میں جتنی مرضی کامیاب ہے، جس بھی عہدے پر ہے، بہترین طریقے سے رشتے نبھا رہی ہو، اپنے کام میں بہت ماہر ہے لیکن اگر اس کا وزن زیادہ ہے، رنگ پکا ہے، بال سفید ہیں اور سب سے ضروری بات وہ میک اپ کے بغیر ہے تو اس پر انگلیاں اٹھائی جاتی ہیں۔ اگر ایسا نہیں ہے تو آپ سوچیں اور خود اردگرد دیکھیں اگر کوئی عورت اوپر بیان کیے حلیے میں کوئی کام کرتی پائی جائے توآپ نے ایسی آوازیں نہیں سنی کہ ’انہیں تو سینس ہی نہیں، یہ ایسے ہی اٹھ کر آ گئیں، اسے اس عہدے پر بٹھایا کس نے ہے؟ لگتا ہی نہیں یہ اس پوزیشن پر کام کرتی ہے۔‘انہیں سب باتوں سے آج کی لڑکی اپنے دن کا آدھے سے زیادہ حصہ ’میں کیسی لگ رہی ہوں‘ کی سوچوں میں گزراتی ہے، چہرے پر نکلا ایک دانہ گھنٹہ کب کھا جاتا ہے معلوم ہی نہیں ہوتا۔ وزن بڑھ جائے تو اپنی نظروں میں وقعت گر جاتی ہے، سوچنے لگتی ہیں کہ ہم اب کسی لائق ہی نہیں، خوشیوں اور کامیابیوں کو ظاہری شخصیت کے ساتھ جوڑنے کا کام بہت اعلیٰ طریقے سے صرف سوشل میڈیا نے نہیں کیا۔ اس میں والدین، فیملی، دوست احباب سب شامل ہیں۔ کبھی کسی نے سوچنے کی زحمت ہی نہیں کی کہ خوبصورتی کی دوڑ ہماری لڑکیوں کو کس طرح ایک کمرے میں بند کر رہی ہے جہاں ان کی سوچ، میں خوبصورت ہوں یا نہیں، پتلی ہوں یا موٹی، کالی، گوری، چہرے ہر نکلے دانے سے سر پٹخ پٹخ کر واپس دماغ تک پہنچ جاتی ہے۔ بظاہر ایسا معلوم ہوتا ہے کہ اس میں ایسی کیا بات ہے کہ اگر ایک عورت خوبصورت دکھنا چاہتی ہے؟ کوئی برائی نہیں۔ برائی اس میں ہے کہ ہم لڑکیوں کو ’صرف اور صرف‘ خوبصورت دیکھنا چاہیں۔ ایک خاص’ فگر‘ میں دیکھنا چاہیں۔اگر وہ پتلی یا کلیئر سکن کیساتھ نہیں ہیں تو انہیں جینے کا حق بھی نہیں۔ ہمارا پیسہ، سوچ، خیالات، اور سب سے قیمتی وقت اس خوبصورتی کی دوڑ میں ختم ہو جائے۔ میرا یہ سوال ہے کہ کیا خوبصورتی اس قدر اہم چیز ہے جس پر وقت صرف کیا جائے؟ ریسرچ کے مطابق لڑکیاں صبح کے وقت تیار ہونے میں کم سے کم پندرہ سے بیس منٹ لگاتی ہیں۔ اپنی زندگی کے دو سال وہ صرف میک اپ کرنے میں صرف کرتی ہیں۔وہ خوبصورت لگ رہی ہیں یا نہیں یہ اس بات کا تعین کرتا ہے کہ انکا دن کیسا گزرے گا۔ ریسرچ کے مطابق اگر آپ کا دیہان اپنی ظاہری شخصیت کے اوپر ہے کہ آپ کے کپڑے درست ہیں یا نہیں، بال ٹھیک ہیں یا نہیں، میک اپ، لپ اسٹک، یا جنرل طور پر آپ کیسی لگ رہی ہیں۔۔یہ چیزیں آپ کی پرفارمنس پر اثرانداز ہوتی ہیں۔ آپ صحیح فیصلے نہیں کر پاتے، آپ پراعتماد نہیں رہتے، آپ کی سیلف ایسٹیم تباہ و برباد ہو جاتی ہے۔ ’میسلو کی ہیرارکی آف نیڈ‘ کے مطابق اگر آپ کی سیلف ایسٹیم کم ہے تو آپ کبھی بھی اپنے فل پوٹینشیل (حقیقی صلاحیت) کو پہچان نہیں سکتے۔ اسی لیے مختلف ریسرچ کے مطابق لڑکیوں کی پولیٹیکل اینگیجمنٹ صفر کے برابر ہے۔ پاکستان میں صرف ۶ پرسنٹ خواتین بڑے عہدوں پر فائض ہیں۔ مان لیتے ہیں کہ مزید دوسرے عناصر ہوں گے لیکن ان سب عناصر میں سے ایک یہ بھی ہے کہ ہم نے لڑکیوں کو خوبصورتی سے آگے بڑھنے کا موقع ہی نہیں دیا۔ اگر وہ خوبصورت ہیں تو زندگی میں اسے برقرار کرنے کی جدوجہد کرو اور اگر وہ نہیں ہیں تو خوبصورت بننے کی قطار میں لگ جاؤ اور اس میں زندگی کے بہت سے سال، انرجی، پیسہ صرف کر دو۔ کہا جاتا ہے کہ خوبصورتی پر بات کرنے سے زیادہ ضروری اور بہت سے اہم مسائل ہیں۔ میں بھی یہی کہتی ہوں لیکن اگر ہماری لڑکیاں اپنے پوٹینشیل کو نہیں پہچانیں گی تو دنیا کے اہم مسائل پر غور وفکر کیسے کریں گی؟ جب ہم نے اپنی لڑکیوں کی سوچ و خیالات کو ’وہ کیسی دکھتی ہیں‘ تک محدود کر دیا ہے تو وہ کیسے دنیا فتح کریں گی؟ اگر وہ ویٹ مشین سے آگے قدم نہیں بڑھائیں گی تو دنیا کا سفر کیسے طے کریں گی؟ اگر وہ اپنے دن کا بہت سا حصہ کیلوریز کاؤنٹ کرتے، کیا کھانا ہے کیا نہیں کھانا، میک اپ اور کپڑے سیٹ کرتے گزار دیں گی تو آگے کیسے بڑھیں

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Echoes from the Mountains – Book Review

Echoes from the Mountains – Book Review There are books that take one to imaginary lands and weave tales of such adventures that one fails to draw a line between reality and dreams. But there are also books that carry the echoes of lost souls, wisdom, and love. Echoes from the Mountains by Khalida Naseem is one such book. This book is like a hidden map to a lost world of humanity, civilization, love, empathy, and standing tall and upright for one’s beliefs, even in the face of the most brutal regimes. It is a concealed treasure of wisdom, but for me, it is also a way to repay the debt of love I owe towards the warm and welcoming land of the Pakhtuns, the homeland of many of my father’s and uncle’s dear friends. From them I learned the mighty history of peaceful rebellion and the melodious Pashtun poetry that they patiently translated for me. One can easily imagine the pain I felt when I saw this mighty land descending into a war zone, no longer a destination for summer vacations to meet our family friends. Ghani Khan, son of the mighty Bacha Khan, a poet, free thinker, and rebel against religious feudals, was a man of ideology and principles whose heart and mind were in sync with the poor people of his land. His name was not new to me, as men of ideology remembered him with respect and fondness all over Indo, Pak, and Afghan lands. To read his poetry in English, through the lens of a woman who herself strongly identifies with her roots and feels the agony and pain of her motherland, is a great testament. Both the poet and the translator suffered through the anguish of extremism that began engulfing the Pakhtuns from the 1980s onwards, and this is evident in the poems Khalida selected for translation. O lover of IslamO political mominToday you praise IslamWhat was the praise yesterday?Today are promises of paradiseWere yesterday’s promises of hell? Poetry is not merely sewing rhyming words into beautiful strings of verses. Poetry that resonates with the emotions of common people, expresses their struggles, and voices their social issues can stand the test of time and history. Ghani Khan’s poetry does just that, as his soul was as simple as that of the common Pakhtun, and in his heart and mind, he was clear about his ideology and love for his people. And when I say his people, I do not mean the Pashtun elite living in lush green bungalows of Islamabad, but the common men who always stood with his father and family, following the path of non-violence, even though they were the ones against whom the most brutal violence was unleashed, from the British Raj to the regimes after independence. Their children are still being used as sacrificial lambs in the so-called Jihad. Ghani Khan felt the pain of this imported jihad and was fully aware of the monsters it was creating. He was vocal about it. When I read his poem You Name it Jihad, I was astonished by its blunt truth. I thought of Mishal Khan, who lost his life to religious fundamentalists, and I thanked fate that Ghani Khan was not alive in today’s times, otherwise, he might have met the same fate. Questioning is forbidden, religion is used as a tool to suppress the masses, and turning people into blind followers is a gift for elites. Ghani Khan questioned every part of this blind submission and openly challenged the religious lords. It gives me shivers to imagine what would have happened to him in today’s madness. Khalida is equally aware of this monster, as she herself saw her beautiful motherland turning into hell, where instead of education and infrastructure development, billions of dollars were spent turning poor children into so-called Mujahideen and suicide bombers. The poem And You Name it Jihad reflects not only the poet’s intellect and political insight but also Khalida’s own. By selecting this poem, she conveys the brutality her nation has endured on a global platform. Dollars in pocket,Poison in hands,He tells me to kill a Pashtun brotherAnd calls it Jihad. The beauty of this book lies in Khalida’s unwavering commitment to Ghani Khan’s poetry. She is not afraid to select poems manifesting his wit and his scathing critique of religious feudal lords, such as O Mullah, Your Heart is Full of Self, O Mullah, You and I, and my personal favorites Islam, O Political Momin and the star of the book, You Name it Jihad. The Mullah he repeatedly addressed was not the poor imam of a village mosque, but the powerful religious feudals. Ghani Khan was fully aware of the class system within clerical ranks and their audacity to sell their own blood and flesh to foreign powers for dollars. That man with the white turban,And a long beard to show off,Like a hidden poisonous snake…Crushing that cursed hypocriteIs real Jihad. Through Khalida’s command of language and poetry, this poem alone tells the story of fifty years of senseless, imported war. Ghani Khan’s poems encompass diverse emotions and themes: love, grief, passion, longing, humanism, philosophy, mysticism, cultural pessimism, escapism, imagination. For this reason, he is often compared to John Keats. But to me, his aura surpasses Keats, because of his bravery in openly challenging religious fundamentalists, who were (and still are) considered holy and above the law. To select a poet of such magnificence is no easy task. It requires not only a deep understanding of the poet’s thought process, but also proficiency in language and the courage of heart to deal with subjects many avoid for the sake of safety. Khalida displays all of these qualities in her book. I hope Echoes from the Mountains will shatter the echo chambers that have portrayed Pashtuns as mindless, brutal savages, and instead reveal their true history of non-violence, love, patriotism, bravery, and civilization that we lost to greed. O lovers,A few momentsIn the bloom

Build Self-Confidence Mah e Darakhshan
Mah e Darakhshan

How to Build Self-Confidence: 7 Practical Tips for Women in Daily Life

How to Build Self-Confidence: 7 Practical Tips for Women in Daily Life Picture standing in front of a full-length mirror before an important presentation. Your hands tremble. Your heart beats quickly. And that quiet voice in your mind whispers: “What if I fail?” We’ve all been there. But here’s the truth: confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build. Today, I’m sharing seven practical tips for building was self-confidence, especially for women in Pakistan, where cultural expectations can be challenging. Let’s begin. “Whenever a woman defends herself, she defends all women.” Maya Angelou Confidence isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we grow through actions and choices. If you’ve ever felt your voice wasn’t heard or stayed quiet when you wanted to speak up, you’re not alone. Many women—whether in Karachi, Lahore, Peshawar, or a small town in Sindh, struggle with self-doubt. The good news is, self-confidence is a skill you can develop. And when you do, your life begins to change. You start to ask for what you deserve, whether it’s respect at work, fairness at home, or space for your personal dreams. Let’s explore seven real, practical tips that can help you build self-confidence in your everyday life. These are not just ideas, they are steps you can take, based on the challenges we face as women in Pakistan. 1. Start by Owning Your Story Every woman has her own story. Some of us grew up in homes where girls were told to be quiet. Some faced rejection in school or discouragement when pursuing a career. I remember a friend from Multan who was mocked for choosing mechanical engineering, “That’s not what girls do,” people said. Today she designs machines at a top firm in Lahore. The first step to building self-confidence is to own your journey, both the struggles and the successes. Don’t see your hardships as weakness; instead, see them as proof of your strength. How many times have you heard a woman say, “Oh, it’s nothing, anyone could have done it,” after achieving something great? We’re often taught to downplay our accomplishments. But here’s the key: own your successes. Write them down. Keep a “pride journal” where you list even small wins, like finishing a tough project or handling a family crisis with grace. The next time someone praises you, don’t brush it off, just say: “Thank you, I worked hard for it.” Owning your success isn’t arrogance, it’s recognition.  Practical tip: Write down three tough challenges you’ve overcome and how you did it. When doubt creeps in, revisit this list as a reminder that you’ve survived before, and you will again. 2. Embrace the Power of Small Wins We often think confidence comes from big achievements, like promotions or public recognition. But true confidence grows through small, consistent successes. For instance, maybe you spoke up in a meeting at your workplace in Islamabad. Or you finally went to driving school in Karachi, even though people said, “Women aren’t good at driving.” Confidence doesn’t come overnight, it builds through action. Start with small goals and celebrate each little achievement. Imagine you want to speak more at work. Instead of trying to lead a meeting right away, begin by sharing one idea during a team discussion. Repeat this a few times, and you’ll notice your confidence growing, just like a muscle. In Lahore, I once met a university student who feared public speaking. She started by reading short passages in class, then moved on to giving brief speeches, and eventually became president of her debate club. What was her secret? She started small and grew gradually. Useful suggestion: Keep a “confidence diary.” Each night, write down one action you took that made you proud, no matter how small. Over time, these small achievements will create a solid foundation for confidence. 3. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue Have you ever thought, “I’m not enough” or “What if I fail?” For many women, this critical inner voice is louder, especially in cultures that value humility and obedience. But confidence starts within. As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Nobody can make you feel less than yourself unless you allow it.” To build self-confidence, you must change the way you talk to yourself. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” say, “I will find a way.” Replace “I always fail” with “This is a chance to improve.” Useful suggestion: Every morning, stand in front of a mirror and say a motivational phrase in Urdu or English, such as: “Main apne naseeb ki zaroorat rakhti hoon.” “I deserve respect and success.” Remember: “Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t—you’re right.” – Henry Ford 4. Surround Yourself with Encouraging People Confidence is contagious. Being around people who bring you down can hurt your self-esteem. But surrounding yourself with friends, mentors, or even online groups that support you can make a huge difference. In Pakistan, groups like WomenX and Circle Women Association, along with casual WhatsApp groups for women, create safe spaces for women to inspire and support each other. Consider inspiring figures such as Fatima Jinnah, who stood firmly by Quaid-e-Azam, or Malala Yousafzai, who continues to speak up despite the dangers. Behind each of them were people who encouraged and supported them. Useful advice: Connect with local women’s organizations, such as the Women Chamber of Commerce, or virtual groups like WomenInTech PK. Having mentors and supporters can greatly boost your confidence. 5. Focus on Your Development Self-confidence often comes from having skills. The more you know, the more confident you become. If you’re hesitant to share your thoughts at work in Faisalabad, it might be because you feel you don’t know enough about the topic. The solution? Learn more. Taking an online class, reading a leadership book in Urdu, or watching a YouTube tutorial can all help increase your knowledge and make you feel more prepared. Nothing boosts confidence quite like competence. The more skilled you become, the more assured you are in any situation. These days, with

Khushal das Parmar

Why Deep Reading Still Matters in the Age of AI?

In a world where AI tools like ChatGPT, Gemini, Deep Seek can summarize a 600-page novel in seconds, we may find ourselves wondering: why bother reading deeply anymore? Let’s understand Deep reading first. It is the slow, immersive, thoughtful engagement with text, it is not just about absorbing content. It’s about shaping our minds. It’s what teaches us to pause, to think critically, to empathize, and to make meaning from complexity. Unlike casual reading, where we skim headlines or scroll through quick content, deep reading requires focus, patience, and emotional engagement. It means staying with a complex idea, absorbing the nuances of a sentence, and reflecting on the inner conflict of writers or their subtle arguments. As artificial intelligence reshapes how we consume knowledge, it tempts us with speed and convenience but it may quietly erase the very capacities that make us human. Through this blog I will make you understand that why deep reading still matters; perhaps now more than ever. Neurologically, deep reading activates multiple regions of the brain: those responsible for language, memory, empathy, and sensory experience. The cognitive neuroscientist Maryanne Wolf in her talk (available on YouTube at The University of Chicago Graham School YouTube channel) says, “deep reading builds a quality of attention that enables us to analyse, infer, and reflect which is the essential components of critical thinking.” In the act of reading we build emotional intelligence, broaden our perspective, and practice empathy. Research in psychology and education has shown that people who read literary fiction regularly score higher in tests of social cognition and empathy. Why? Because deep reading puts us into someone else’s shoes and keeps us there. In contrast to the quick dopamine hits of digital consumption (The quick dopamine hits and the increasing use of social media is another troubling issue, I suggest you to explore it on your own), deep reading cultivates sustained attention and cognitive endurance. The American entrepreneur and author Jim Rohn says, “Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary.” Jim Rohn’s quote reminds us that deep reading doesn’t just make us informed but it helps elevate our thinking beyond average, beyond superficial. It sharpens our ability to question, reflect, and grow. Psychologically, deep reading fosters not only intellectual maturity but also emotional resilience. When we engage deeply with complex characters, conflicting viewpoints, or unresolved endings, our minds learn to hold ambiguity, develop patience, and regulate emotions. The Psychologist Raymond Mar says, “Engaging with stories helps us understand other people and our social world.” Deep reading allows us to simulate emotional experiences, understand diverse perspectives, and process the complexities of human relationships. We confront dilemmas, grieve with characters, and rejoice in their growth. Over time, this strengthens our empathy and self-awareness. In the words of Carl Jung, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Deep reading becomes a mirror to our inner selves, helping us identify feelings and beliefs that we may not have consciously acknowledged. Unlike quick content, which often numbs us with overstimulation, deep reading offers a kind of therapeutic introspection i.e a mental space where transformation quietly takes root. We live in an age of shortcuts, our generation wants everything as fast as possible and expects instant results. Large Language Models (LLMs) like ChatGPT, Gemini, or DeepSeek can now process and summarize entire books, articles, or academic papers within seconds. Need a quick overview of Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov? AI’s got you. Want a synopsis of a research paper for tomorrow’s meeting? Done in one prompt. But with this growing dependence on machine-generated summaries comes a subtle shift: we’re learning to favour speed over depth, answers over questions, and efficiency over experience. This culture of speed has deeply affected students, researchers, and professionals. Many now skip entire readings in favour of AI-generated abstracts or YouTube explainers. While this might help meet deadlines, it also risks flattening our intellectual engagement. The nuances, contradictions, and discomforts that make reading meaningful are often left behind. In this race toward faster knowledge, we risk creating a generation of thinkers who know what something means but not why it matters. No matter how advanced machines become, they cannot replicate the inner transformation that deep reading brings. It can generate meaning, but it cannot derive meaning from lived experience. Reading deeply allows us to wrestle with ambiguity, sit with discomfort, and engage with ideas that challenge us. By deep reading we, develop empathetic imagination by inhabiting perspectives unlike our own. hone complex reasoning by following intricate narratives or arguments. cultivate a sense of self, one shaped not just by information, but by interpretation. George Saunders once said, “Fiction is a kind of empathy machine.” It makes us more human, something no algorithm, however brilliant, can simulate. AI may be able to mimic thought, but it cannot feel heartbreak in a poem, or wrestle with moral dilemmas in a novel, or grow wiser after reading a memoir. That’s the irreplaceable gift of deep reading. I am not saying to stop using AI tools, but suggest you to use it wisely. AI can be a powerful companion in our reading journey. It can suggest books based on interests, or provide background context for complex topics. But it should serve as a starting point, not the endpoint. Rather than replacing deep reading, we can use AI tools to enhance it: Use ChatGPT or any other LLMs’ tool to generate discussion questions after reading a novel.Ask AI to compare philosophical arguments across authors after you’ve read them.Use tools like Goodreads or AI-powered recommendation engines to find your next deep read. In the fast-moving age of algorithms and instant answers, the quiet discipline of deep reading is more essential than ever. It anchors us. It nourishes our inner world. It slows us down and in doing so, makes us more thoughtful, empathetic, and fully human. The famous quote by George R.R. Martin, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only

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