At the heart of who I am, are three extraordinary women: my mother, my Nano, and my Pova. Each of them has faced immense challenges and emotional pain, yet they never let bitterness take root. Instead, they chose love, understanding, and unwavering support. My mother taught me quiet strength and self-respect, while my nano and pova’s warmth, prayers, and unconditional care made me feel deeply grounded.

In Pakistan, women grow up navigating a world shaped by traditions, expectations, and inherited fears. In conversations about patriarchy in Pakistan, the focus almost always rests on men. While men undeniably benefit most from the system, the truth is more complicated and more uncomfortable. Patriarchy does not survive on men alone. It is often protected, justified, and passed down by women themselves. This is not an accusation. It is an observation rooted in daily life.

In many households, women speak about other women in front of their husbands in ways they would never tolerate for themselves. A woman’s character, clothes, marriage, or independence becomes casual conversation often wrapped in mockery, suspicion, or moral judgment. She may think she is protecting her position but in reality, she is normalizing misogyny inside her own home.

In many families, sons are protected from accountability in ways daughters never are. Boys are excused for anger, entitlement, and disrespect, while girls are trained to be patient, polite, and accommodating. Some mothers teach their sons that responsibility, emotional sensitivity, or respect for a wife will make them “weak” or “fragile.”

Phrases like:

“Don’t listen too much to your wife.”
 “Men don’t apologize.”
 “If you’re too loving, she’ll control you.”
 “Never ever cry, especially in front of a woman”.

Toxic masculinity does not appear overnight. It is nurtured in living rooms, reinforced at dinner tables, and excused in childhood. When a boy is never taught to clean up after himself, regulate his emotions, or respect women’s boundaries, he grows into a man who expects service instead of partnership. When his anger is defended and his behavior justified, he learns that women will always be responsible for fixing him. This does not mean mothers are villains. Many women raise sons the way they were taught within systems that punished them for doing otherwise. But acknowledging structural pressure does not erase responsibility. If women are trusted to raise daughters with discipline, dignity, and morality, then they are equally capable of raising sons with empathy, accountability, and respect.

I try to carry this forward in my life by:
● Asking women how their day went and genuinely listening. These simple acts create safe spaces where women feel seen, valued, and empowered. They replace judgment and competition with empathy and encouragement.
● Celebrating their small joys, choices, and achievements.
● Acknowledging challenges and reminding them of the people they love.
Every word, every action, every small choice matters.

Women Lifting Women
Hands that lift, hearts that care,
Voices that cheer, always there.
Strength in kindness, love that frees,
Together we rise, like roots and trees.
“So let’s rise, lift each other, and make every woman feel seen, valued, and strong.